Lost in Pain
Not that anyone cares or pays attention to my tumblr, but boy am I lonely/sad/heartbroken/depressed/unloved/unworthy of his love and forever alone. My heart is broken and my wrists are freshly cut. Unfortunately I don’t have access to enough drugs that would do me in, but I am creative with sharp things, my lovely sharp things. They bring me just enough pain and release to temporarily forget how broken I am. How badly do i need to hurt myself so I don’t need to feel this anymore? We know the answer to this. I don’t know what’s stopping me, but each slice brings me closer to my final destination.
He was supposed to love me forever. We were supposed to have babies and grow old together. Instead he rather do that with anyone else but me, the girl he used to write songs for and talk to me till I fell asleep after a night terror. He doesn’t pick up those phone calls anymore, he doesn’t hear me cry, he doesn’t try to stop me when I cut or want to throw up and he doesn’t even care that my Grandma just died. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t love me.
The thing is that I would have loved him forever, but that isn’t enough. I’m too broken, too fucked up to fix and love.